


What, What, What

by a_big_apple



Series: Benevolence [7]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: 90's Music, Cooking, Gen, Ghost Cat, Magic School, Memory Loss, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 17:02:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18392597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_big_apple/pseuds/a_big_apple
Summary: Taako is mildly fucked up, but perseveres; Lup wonders if her brother might actually be part gerblin. Just another fancy dinner at Taako's Amazing School of Magic!





	What, What, What

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think you have to read the rest of this series to read this—just know that Taako has a cool house on school grounds, and Lup lives there too. But, I mean, I'm not gonna stop you from reading the rest of the series. ;)

Lup doesn’t often bother coming home through the front door; her scythe makes doors basically irrelevant, and after almost a year in the Raven Queen’s service she still hasn’t tired of making a dramatic entrance with a badass plane-slicing blade. But sometimes when the weather’s nice, after a long hunt or a lot of paperwork, she’ll take a minute to come up the walk through the wild garden and let the enchanted birds carved over the doorframe sing out a full chorus of The Thong Song before she goes inside. 

Today she stands in the sticky early September heat and listens through twice before she’s ready; breaking up blood sacrifice cults bums her out every time. If she does a little twerk for the second chorus, well, Merle never has to know she took his advice.

There’s an unusual bustle of school staff inside, cleaning, polishing, changing over the big event space to a fancy dining room with bursts of magic. Predictably, Ren is standing perched on a chair supervising these efforts; when she spots Lup, she gives her a frazzled smile and a wave.

“Can you make sure Taako’s on schedule?” she calls across the dining room. “He was in a weird mood this morning. Oh, no, Sam, let’s do maroon on the napkins? Fall colors. And velvet for the seat cushions.”

Lup doesn’t know specifically what’s going on, but she can guess; the school year’s about to start, this must be some kind of opening dinner. “I’ll check on him. What time’s he supposed to be ready?”

Ren crosses something off the list on her clipboard before looking back to Lup. “Six sharp. Thanks!”

Lup shoots her two finger guns and continues on to the door into the private wing, only to find it locked. It’s not a problem to Knock it open, but it is unusual, and as soon as she steps through she can smell food cooking and maybe something burning. Biscuit, who generally takes it upon herself to keep tabs on all entrants, darts through a wall to greet her. 

“Hey, spooky girl,” Lup coos, bending to rub the underside of the cat’s mandible. “Who’s my favorite ghost cat? Hmm? Did you miss me?” Biscuit’s ribs rumble with a purr, and Lup grins. “Guess so. Let’s go see what’s cookin’, huh?” The cat follows her down the hall, twining around and phasing through her legs.

The kitchen looks like a five-star restaurant exploded; there are platters and tureens and baskets of food on every counter, and the kitchen island, and the dining table, and the seat of every chair; the sink is piled comically high with dirty dishes. In the middle of it all stands her brother, wearing nothing but a pair of Barry’s boxers and eating what looks like over-roasted brussel sprouts straight from the baking tray with his fingers. There’s a smear of herbed cooking oil in the shape of a handprint on his stomach, and a streak of some kind of sauce on his elbow. She’s getting a sense for what Ren meant by “a weird mood.”

“Yo,” he says, stuffing a fingerful of blackened leaves into his mouth. “How’d the cult thing go?”

“Fine,” she says, still staring around at the chaos; something crunches underfoot as she comes around the kitchen island. Some wayward Fantasy Corn Chex, if she had to guess, which hopefully means Taako ate something other than burnt reject vegetables at some point today. “You know. Blasted ‘em straight to the Stockade. You, ah...you have a thing tonight, huh?”

Taako holds out the baking tray. “The scholarship thing. I told you about it last week.”

Lup plucks up the last few sprouts and pops them in her mouth. Even burnt, they’re delicious, perfectly seasoned and sprinkled with No-Sodium Salt. “Scholarship thing?”

“I did tell you...didn’t I?” He blinks at her, something shifting in his expression; Lup takes the tray and balances it on top of the dish pile, then takes his greasy hands.

“Hey. It doesn’t matter. Tell me now?” she says, rubbing his knuckles with her thumbs. He lets her, mouth working. “You okay?” she asks, when he doesn’t speak.

“Yeah.” He squeezes her hands, and his expression clears a little. Then he grimaces and lets one hand go to grab a kitchen towel. “Yeah. I started a scholarship, this year. Forty free rides. They’re all comin’ for dinner. You too, if you want. I mean, whoever’s home.”

“Absolutely,” she says, grinning as he tries to wipe his hands and hers without actually letting go of her at all. “You’re disgusting, you need a shower. I think you have icing in your hair, did you make a cake?”

“Three cakes, they’re in the icebox. Also, shut up, I’ve been cooking for eleven hours.”

Lup kisses his cheek and shoves him out of the kitchen. “It shows. I’ll clean up in here, go get ready before Ren comes looking for you.”

***

Eventually Ren does come looking, bringing a line of staff to retrieve the food. When Lup heads upstairs at ten to six, she finds Taako in their shared dressing room, sitting at the vanity fussing with his hair. He’s tried to do a fishtail, but it’s crooked; when he sees her come in, he sighs and lets his arms flop into his lap. “Can you fix this? I fucked it up.”

At least he’s dressed, in high-waisted black trousers and knee high boots, and the shirt Magnus gave him for his birthday with the delicate embroidery on the frilled cuffs. He picks at them as she brushes his hair out. “So tell me more about this scholarship,” she says, watching her fingers as she starts to braid instead of giving in to the urge to examine his every expression in the mirror.

“What’s there to tell?” he says, letting go of his cuffs to poke through his jewelry box instead. “I picked forty kids from the applications who don’t have money, or don’t have homes, or don’t have families or whatever, gave them tuition and room and board.” He picks out an ostentatious ring with a big blue stone, clearly costume, maybe magical, and slips it on his pointer finger. “I’m calling it the Study it Up! Scholarship. Ren tried to get me to change the name, but it’s my money and my school, so.”

“Forty kids, huh?” Lup says, quiet, and Taako shakes his head.

“Lup, c’mon, I don’t wanna—”

“No, no, I wasn’t trying to—I just. You’re doing a good thing.” She holds the end of his braid in one hand, squeezing his shoulder with the other. 

Taako smiles, finally, leaning his head against her arm. “Yeah, no shit.” He hands her a hair band, with an obnoxiously large purple silk flower on it. “Thanks.”

“Anytime, babe.”

He runs a hand over the fishtail as she ties it off; satisfied, he whirls out of the chair and throws on his academic robes, plucks a matching hat from the hat shelf, takes the Umbrastaff she made him from its hook. It turns deep blue as he touches it, to match his robes, and he holds out his arms. “Good?”

He looks smart; professorial. He looks like the kind of Somebody they always wanted to be. Then he points his staff at the record player in the corner, and The Thong Song comes blasting out of it. Taako points at her and laughs, and breaks into his Thong Song Dance, as only he can.

“You dumbass,” she shouts over the music, laughing, and joins him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up on tumblr if you want @ a-big-apple.


End file.
